4.1.1 Serving Requires Repentance First

4.1.1 服侍需要先悔改

Speaker: Ming

Thank God, the topic I want to share today is about repentance and our generation. As I prayed and sought guidance for this topic, the Holy Spirit reminded me that the current environment we are facing is closely related to our repentance. Nowadays, with the rapid development of the internet and media, we are essentially all part of the same global village. The people of the global village mean that no matter which country we live in, we can easily communicate with one another and exchange information. We can quickly share the same goals, follow the same celebrities, even hold the same political views, and traverse various social media platforms to express the same opinions and perspectives worldwide. So, although our generation was once very distant from one another, we can now communicate quickly through the internet and exchange information.

Our generation is also unique in that we have witnessed many situations and environments, including many ungodly things, bad habits, moral decay, and broken relationships, which are impacting our generation and even the next generation. For those of us who believe in God, we long to possess authority that transcends the influence of the world, so that we may be freed from the corruption and bondage of this world and accomplish things beyond our imagination. In such an environment, how should we prepare ourselves? When God is at work in our generation, what should we do to see the Spirit of God powerfully at work in our cities and nations? We hope to see ourselves as light and salt, and we all desire this. Therefore, when we bring up the topic of repentance, many people find it heavy. I love this topic because every time I share about repentance, I realize that God is using this topic to cleanse the many issues in my own life.

When facing a chaotic world and standing before God, I share the same confusion as you sometimes do. We eagerly anticipate being empowered, and we long to obtain the authority and power that Christ speaks of in Revelation 12:10: 

“Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, ‘Now salvation and strength and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come. For the accuser of our brothers, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.’”

Therefore, we also look forward to obtaining all the authority and power that Christ speaks of in this passage, so that it may come to this age. However, we also know that if we are unwilling to enter into authority and power according to the method led by Christ, or if we merely rely on the wisdom and power of the world to deal with this world, we will ultimately fail and be in chaos.

So, whenever we talk about repentance, I believe many people discuss the topic of repentance, but in reality, the topic of repentance is something God uses to cleanse the issues in our own lives. This topic has led me into a new breakthrough. After returning from my ministry trip, I was eager to see God perform a marvelous work of elevation, because that is the word of the Holy Spirit. However, this also means that at the level of life, our group needs to be stripped, shaken, and renewed, which will come with much pain and separation. Sure enough, after I returned, we began to experience many things, including significant shakings within our group, similar to the events described in the Bible about the Korah rebellion. Much of this chaos stemmed from issues in our lives that we were previously unaware of or had overlooked.

God taught me early on that when chaos arises within a group, it is inseparable from the leader of that group. If a group faces issues, it is often because the leader’s own life has problems, as such cases are abundant in the Bible. For instance, when the Bible speaks of Lucifer’s fall, it mentions that one-third of the angels who followed him also fell. When it comes to David, the story of David and Bathsheba illustrates that the sins committed by the head of the household quickly affected his children. When the head of the household’s life goes against God, it quickly brings great harm to his children and spouse, whether economically, mentally, or spiritually. This is David’s story. Many of the events that occurred within David's family were related to the seeds he had sown with Bathsheba. In the Bible, this is referred to as the principle of sowing and reaping. When David sowed the seed by plotting to kill Uriah, you will find that within his family, his son Amnon was killed by Absalom, and later Absalom was killed by Joab. When David sowed the seed of adultery, what he reaped was his son Amnon raping his daughter Tamar, and his son Absalom taking his concubine. Later, when David became king, the sins he committed as king led his entire nation into chaos and sin.

From these events, the principle of sowing and reaping shows that when chaos arises in a community, the first thing to examine is the leader's life. We are grateful that later, when David saw Absalom leading most of the Israelites to rise up against him, he began to reflect on his own actions, realizing that his deeds had indeed offended God. Therefore, he later experienced a deeper and more complete repentance. From examining David’s life, we can see that it is worth rejoicing that he did not reject God’s work of healing him.

When we face chaos, our tendency is often to hide our weaknesses from others and try to present ourselves to look better. In Greek, repentance refers to changing one’s former way of life. Before repentance, I might have lived to please myself, but after repentance, I live to please God. This is a decision, not an emotion. In Hebrew, repentance means turning back, acknowledging that you have gone in the wrong direction and now turning 180 degrees to return, then saying to God, “Here I am; command me, and I will obey.” When Greek and Hebrew are combined, they form a complete understanding of repentance: only through repentance can true faith be born, so one must first repent and then believe.

Changing a bad habit on our own is really difficult. Therefore, Paul says in Romans 7:18-20, 

“For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.”

In my life, I have encountered many bottlenecks. Since the ministry was established in 2012, I have faced bottlenecks. At that time, my problem was that I neglected to fully surrender to God, so God told me one thing: He became my obstacle.

Now I am facing another bottleneck, so I come before God and ask why I lack the ability to break through, why I still feel powerless to fulfill my mission. When we serve as leaders in a group, God sometimes uses the entire group to train us. Therefore, healing must begin with the leader, and dealing with sin must also begin with the leader. Otherwise, we will never gain the ability to change our land and our nation. This is the lesson I have learned from God since I began my ministry.

So, if my own ministry encounters problems, although there are various spiritual laws that can be discovered and applied, and although I can learn various principles of transformation, I will not see results. So, every time I encounter a problem, God teaches me a lesson: to return to the root, to the fundamental issue, which is actually the problem in my own life and the problem in the leader. The first thing to do is to come before God and ask myself what issues I have, what problems are in my life, that have led to rebellion and disunity in the ministry and the group I am currently involved in, and when the leaven entered.

During this time, I happened to encounter such a situation, where there was disunity in the ministry. I had the opportunity to go to Quebec for a children’s ministry, where I was welcomed. By the river near a villa, I encountered God. I opened up to Him and told Him about the many doubts I had regarding what was happening in our group. God has a beautiful destiny for our ministry, and within this destiny, He has outlined how we can bring meaningful influence to the nations in this generation. However, there are some things, as I prayed about at the beginning, that we simply cannot accomplish when faced with the chaos of this era. We don’t even know what to do, and there are weaknesses and flaws in our lives that we are completely unaware of.

So that day in Quebec, the Holy Spirit reminded me, saying, “You have distrust, and I have distrust in my life, and it just so happens to be at the leadership level.” So, who is causing the distrust at the leadership level, and who needs to repent? That day, while I was by the river, God mentioned me, saying that I did not trust the people among us. He said that because I did not trust a certain leader, my self-protection mechanism had been flawed from the start. When God pointed out the problem, people's protective mechanisms immediately kicked in. So, I started arguing about this issue, just like Adam's reaction after eating the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden—avoiding responsibilities.

I had many reasons: we had too many conflicts, we hurt each other, and we didn't adjust or heal in time, so distrust accumulated. Although I forgave and pardoned the other party, trust takes time to rebuild, and this became my excuse. So, I chose to avoid the issue. However, the Holy Spirit also pointed out another problem: the lack of unity among leaders causes those below to follow suit, leading to breaches and fractures. Once breaches and fractures occur, rebellion and factions are their fruits. I immediately understood, so I needed to repent, acknowledge my failure, and commit to addressing these issues immediately. So, God has been helping me confront this matter in recent days, enabling me to reconcile with the other party and resolve to rebuild trust.

This incident occurred as I was preparing to preach on the topic of repentance. The matter revealed by God in my spirit made me realize the root cause of the problems I am facing today. Then I realized that I was not loving God with all my heart. It was a love lacking in focus; my love was double-minded. When faced with challenges in my environment or ministry, my response was no different from that of the world. I chose to shift blame and protect myself, but this ultimately became an obstacle. So, when it came time to lay down for God’s kingdom and for our destinies, I backed down. Such excuses prevented me from walking in God’s abundance. We could have quickly entered into the prosperity God had prepared for us, but because of this, we became even further from our destiny. When breaches appear in our personal lives, it leads to the spiritual defenses against the enemy being breached. Thus, dissatisfaction and various forms of disunity begin to surface in various areas.

So, when we saw such things happening in the ministry recently, we cannot simply blame the groups that caused the problems. First, we must consider what kind of corruption and destruction I, as a leader, have allowed into my life and this group. Because diseases usually enter and worsen through infected wounds. Later, God challenged me with a question: Are you willing, at any cost, to see God Himself intervene on earth, then see the transformation of the entire group, and then see the transformation of this land and nation?

John 12:24-26:

Most assuredly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies, it produces much grain.  He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, let him follow me.

This is what God said. After this incident, the Heavenly Father reminded me that if you want to obtain a higher authority in the kingdom, to handle and face the current chaos in the world, and to bring about the transformation of a region and a land, what you must do is give up what you love, even your life.

If we want to ask God to transform the community we are in, if we want Christ to transform the area and land we live in, if we want to see true transformation, the first thing you must do is give up what you love, even your life. By adjusting the order of our lives, we will then be able to receive a reward: the ability to approach God’s throne of grace with confidence. He will teach you His ways and methods, and you will receive a new, heavenly guidance. This is the first point I want to share.

When we encounter problems, we must return to the fundamentals. This is also the first challenge God has given me. If I want to see transformation and change, am I willing to pay any price, even to the point of surrendering my life and submitting myself before God? I believe that in this generation, the world teaches us many ways to solve problems, and human wisdom is abundant. However, if you want Christ to transform this era and the people around you, I believe many of you are leaders. To transform the people around you, you must follow God’s methods, not your own, because we are all too clever.

The second point is that you must make sanctification a pattern of your daily life in order to establish an intimate relationship with God. This is the second major point I want to address. The Bible mentions a term called “Nazirite.” Soon after I became a believer, God made a covenant with me, and one of the conditions was that I was not allowed to drink wine or strong drink. At that time, I did not yet fully understand God, and I was still accustomed to socializing over drinks. However, I received this word: “You must not drink wine or strong drink.” This word is called “rhema,” meaning the living word of God. After receiving this word, I miraculously found myself able to abstain from alcohol immediately.

Later, I read in the Bible about the Nazirites, who were required to abstain from wine and strong drink throughout their lives and to avoid any unclean food. This was a foreshadowing of being set apart as holy. In the Bible, John the Baptist and Samson are mentioned as having been chosen by God as Nazirites from birth. Therefore, the Hebrew meaning of “Nazarite” is “set apart” and “cleansed.” They reflect God's glory, are created to a standard above the ordinary, and are granted authority over that of a nation. This is the Hebrew meaning of “Nazarite.” In John 17:19, Christ also said, “And for their sakes I sanctify myself.”

Whether we are willing to commit ourselves, whether we have the courage, whether we are selfless, and whether we can make the right choices—these choices and decisions will shape who we become in the future. People will say that your choices and decisions shape your future destiny. We must allow ourselves to be trained by God so that we can handle extremely tense and dangerous situations. However, our human weaknesses are easily exposed in such training, but God allows our weaknesses to be exposed and dealt with. When Peter was martyred, he had the opportunity to flee, but then he heard a voice telling him, “You must turn back and return to be crucified on the cross.” So, Peter could have fled, but he made the choice to return, and later he was crucified upside down. This is how Peter's martyrdom is described in biblical history.

New Testament saints can focus on their goals and do not allow anything to distract them. Once the calling comes, they immediately abandon everything, including achievements, relatives, money, lovers, etc., and nothing can make them retreat or stray from their original goals. This is called setting oneself apart. Separating oneself is done for one purpose: to overcome the world’s influence on them. If this goal is about God Himself, God’s will, and God’s commission, it is called sanctification. Sanctification means focusing on that goal, and since that goal concerns God’s will and God’s commission, it separates one from the world.

If you desire to have a genuine influence on your current environment, if you desire to influence your generation, or even if you desire to bring influence to the nations, you need this focus—to submit and be set apart. However, this also means you may be deprived of certain things. Therefore, when God brings us into a predestined calling, the Holy Spirit has already begun to train us, taking away our former comfortable environment. So, for a long time, I kept seeing troubles, even seeing much injustice and slander, because I had already begun to be trained by the Spirit of God. So, when the training came, the things I desperately wanted, I could never obtain. God also asked me to offer up the things I cherished most, and then I would see that the comfortable environment I once had was gone. These trainings are all preparing us for the inheritance we will receive in the future.

This is not something that happens overnight. This kind of sanctification and submission to God’s calling is a long journey of life, not just occasional victories. It is a way of life that changes the pattern you once had and enters into the kind of submission and sanctification that God wants you to enter into. Otherwise, you will absolutely not be able to fulfill the mission God has entrusted to you in this age, and you may even lose the inheritance, gifts, and abundance He promised to give you in Christ.

Let me share a personal experience with you. In God’s realm, He uses various circumstances to prune us, removing anything that does not align with His attributes. First, He uses an environment to remove the root within us. I once shared a testimony about a major issue I had: I enjoyed judging others behind their backs, which was a significant problem in my life. For example, when listening to a sermon, I would unconsciously critique the speaker, thinking, “He doesn’t preach as well as I do.” This was my past.

One day around 2006, I was living in a two-bedroom apartment shared with others. So, the place where I prayed was very small; I could only pray inside a wardrobe, closing the door and kneeling inside to pray. While praying, I suddenly felt as though time had ceased to exist around me. I didn’t know what kind of environment I had entered, but in that instant, I began to hear messengers conversing, people talking. At first, I thought it was my neighbors talking, but later I realized something was not right. The voices were speaking Chinese, and my neighbors were an Iranian couple who should have been speaking English. Plus, the conversation was very clear, as if someone was speaking through a door behind me. At first, there were two people talking. One asked the other, “Where are you from?” The other replied, “I’m from a certain church.” Then the first person asked, “What did you see at that church?”

At that point, I suddenly realized that the two people talking didn't seem to be human, so I quieted down. Then the Holy Spirit opened my spiritual eyes, and I saw two angels in the room around me and outside the room, dressed in white robes and wearing golden sashes. One was leaning against our window, and the other was standing in the air by the window, having just flown over. The angel who had just flown over began to recount everything he had seen and heard in that church, one by one, to the other angel. The angel sitting by the window held a notebook and a pen in his hand, with his feet resting on the windowsill. He did not enter the room but asked, “What did you see in so-and-so's house? What did he do?” The other angel recounted everything he had seen that person do that day to the messenger holding the notebook, so the messenger's job was to record what the angel told him.

The key point is that the people mentioned in their conversation were all people I knew, and the churches they mentioned were all churches I knew. When the angel asked, “Did you go to such-and-such a church?” the other angel replied, “Yes.” He then asked what happened there, and I heard the detailed content of their conversation. The angels seemed very familiar with the people they served. I heard them mention many church names, both Chinese and English. Since some of these churches were the ones, I was currently involved with, I even heard about what had recently happened in that church, such as what someone had done that offended God. They mentioned some weaknesses in certain churches, some of which were currently happening, and some I was unaware of.

I stayed there and listened for over twenty minutes. The content of their conversation shocked me deeply, as these were things I had only heard through hearsay, but I realized that many of them might be true. For the first time, I became aware of something: the books mentioned in the Bible are real. It turns out that every word we speak and every deed we do is recorded in heaven. Matthew 18:10-11, "Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I say to you, their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father who is in heaven."

This means we must not look down on those around us, for they have angels by their side, and every word we speak and every action we take is recorded. This was a real experience in my life, a revelatory experience. During this process, I heard and saw the things described in the Bible. After that day ended, the first thing I did was repent. I repented for the judgments I had made about people in my heart, for criticizing certain individuals, as mentioned in Matthew 12:36-37, "But I say to you that for every idle word man may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words, you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."

This incident completely uprooted this flaw in my life—the poisonous root of judging others behind their backs. So, God taught me something: no matter what weaknesses I see in others, or any wrongdoing toward others or toward God, I will first pray and seek God’s guidance. Am I the one who should speak to the other person? If I am not the one who should speak, I will be careful not to touch on that matter, because I know that God has His own authority. He is the other person’s Father and Master, and I have no right to manage someone else’s servant.

In Romans 14:4

Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand.

When dealing with sin, we must address the root cause, just like the dandelions and weeds in our lawn. These dandelions and weeds have long, thin roots that entangle themselves in the grass, making them difficult to separate. By spring, they have spread across the entire lawn, and in autumn, the wind blows their seeds across the entire lawn. So, every time I clean our lawn, the only solution is to pull out the roots while they are blooming in the spring. Simply picking the leaves and flowers will not solve the problem. Because if you only pick the leaves and flowers, new shoots will grow back in the same spot the next year. Unless you pull out the roots completely, it will never end. The next year, the spring wind will bring new growth. Perhaps another method is to plow the field anew, discard the existing grass, and plant a new lawn.

In the spiritual realm, the situation is the same. God prunes us, removing anything that does not align with His attributes. The Holy Spirit reveals the issues in our lives, including the flaws in our character, with the purpose of exposing the root of sin. We know that we cannot uproot it on our own, so God uses certain circumstances, or even a particular opening or guidance, to completely remove the poisonous roots within us. Therefore, we should be grateful for these circumstances and for the brothers and sisters around us, as they provide the environment that helps us deal with our sins.

The power to repent comes only from God. Repentance is not merely expressing regret or sorrow, but truly turning back to God and allowing Him to perform major and minor surgeries in our lives. Therefore, some say that repentance is the renewal of the mind and heart, which is correct. However, it is not merely the renewal of the mind and heart; you must uproot the root and continue to deal with it until the root is completely removed. We must not merely focus on the corrupt fruits of sin but see the root—our choices. This choice is not something we make after events occur but a resolve, we make beforehand.

If something concerns God’s will, God’s matters, and you know it is what God desires, no matter how costly the price, you must resolve to act without room for discussion. What we must do is submit ourselves. This method of confession is not merely asking God to forgive us for our arrogance, our pride, our slander of others, our judgment of others, our spreading of rumors, or our envy of others. It is not merely this, but coming before God to ask Him to forgive us for not obeying Him, for not honoring Him as our God.

In the example I mentioned earlier, God reminded me and opened my eyes to the fact that we have not treated Him as the true God. Forgive me for treating God as my equal and not as the true God. This is the core and the key. Because in every matter of repentance, who is the Lord, who is my true boss, and who is my true God? In a company, we are very clear about the demands and instructions given by our superiors, so we follow them. Either I resign, or if I submit to him, I must obey immediately. This is a simple logic: when an order is given, we should obey. But as Christians, it seems very difficult, and as believers, it is very difficult.

First, for many people, God’s will is something they cannot do, something they cannot possibly do, because we are bargaining. The second type of person says, “I don’t care about God’s will. I have my freedom. I’ll do whatever is fastest. I can’t wait for God’s will. I’ll act quickly.” So, the problem in many people’s lives is not the fruit of sin, but the root. The root lies in the fact that we have never honored Him as our God. If you work in a company, you know you must obey immediately. But in the realm of God, when He speaks, we do not immediately honor Him as God. So, our problem actually stems from not honoring God as our God; often we try to put ourselves equal with God.

If we truly know that God is our God, the Lord is our God, then His words and His will should be fully implemented in our lives, and we should act immediately. But why do we often procrastinate? Why do we often hear but not act? It is because we have not understood that the key to repentance lies in the root. James 4:17, "Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin."

This means that even though we know what is right and should do it, if we do not do it, the Bible says that is sin.